


"The Joker's new toy" - [The Joker - Christmas one shot].

by A_Wolf



Category: DC Cinematic Universe, The Joker - Fandom, jared leto - Fandom
Genre: A.Wölf, F/M, Tumblr: theartofimagining13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-12 05:37:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9057997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Wolf/pseuds/A_Wolf
Summary: The Joker hates Christmas but a present from his assistant might change that, at least for a minute or two.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas!

**Originally posted at** : [The Art of Imagining](http://theartofimagining13.tumblr.com/).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

* * *

_“Turn off the goddamn Christmas lights, for the 100 th time, Harley, or I will shove them down your throat and plug them in!”_ The Joker snarled into his cell phone before hanging up.

He was in his office, and I could hear him from the Club’s small and private living room. His two bodyguards and I just waited outside for orders.

Working for The Joker wasn’t easy at all, but if you were good at your job, you’d learn a thing or two. So at this point and being his girlfriend, if you can call that a relationship, Harley should know better. He hates Christmas and he’s made it clear a thousand times. Maybe even more than the bat himself. Which is why all of us are working on the 24th of December, and believe it or not, it’s a full house at the club.

Seems like half of Gotham agrees with the Joker’s distaste.

Harley did take the day off, probably to rob a restaurant and serve Christmas dinner at home.  Not to mention that it was only the 30th of November and hers and The Joker’s house already shone brightly with Christmas lights, and an upside-down snowman on their front porch; The Joker shot at it in no time but she just doesn’t give up.

The doors burst open and The Joker walked out and sat at his throne, with both hands on his cane’s handle and trademark menacing look to guard his territory. This will be a long night.

* * *

Surprisingly, a little after midnight, The Joker told us that we could leave but I stayed and asked to speak with him in private.

 _“What is it?”_ , he asked in a demanding tone, as soon as he sat behind his office desk.

 _“There’s something in the bottom drawer for you, sir”_ , I said.

He reached for it and opened it to pull out a small metal briefcase and place it before him. Then, when he opened it and looked at its contents, his lips formed a perfect _“o”._

 _“Ooo!”_ he exclaimed.

I turned on my heel to leave, feeling my work there was done but he stopped me.

_“Not so fast”._

I faced him again and he beckoned me over with two fingers. He pulled the gun out of the briefcase and stared at it. It was a .45 caliber with a purple finished slide and frame, and all its other parts gold plated. It also had gold inlaid engravings of a Jester on the flats.

 _“Closer”_ , he demanded.

I was already right in front of the desk, so I hesitantly leaned over as if he were about to tell me a secret.

 _“Don’t move”_ , he purred before pointing the gun at my forehead and cocking it, _“Hmm… loaded and everything”._

My heartbeat stuttered, I swallowed hard as I felt the drops of sweat forming on my face.

_“Now, what did I say about Christmas presents?”_

_“It wasn’t wrapped, sir, so technically it isn’t”._

_“Why did you do this?”_ He asked narrowing his eyes.

_“What makes you think it was me?”_

_“Oh because you’ve had that disgusting December glint in your eyes since the very 1 st, and I’ve seen the way you look at Harley and her hideous decorations. Almost as if you wanted to help her. So tell me… why?”_

I looked at the ground and took a deep breath before speaking.

 _“Boring people deserve boring gifts, and you, sir, you’re one of a kind. You’ve changed my life. You deserved something custom-made and powerful”_.

It was the holy truth. The Joker had changed my life, and I was loyal to him. He saw the potential in me when all everybody else did was close doors in my face. And for 3 years now, I had stood by his side, and hadn’t really showed my gratitude. I thought I’d get away with it if I didn’t wrap the present.

 _“I made the bullets, sir_ ”, I added, _“Once they impact, the victim will be tainted with green and purple”._

I saw an amused look on his face but something in the security camera monitors caught his attention, then he glanced back at me, finally lowering the gun.

_“Look at that! We’re going to have to try out this bad boy”._

* * *

_“Harley, Harley, Harley…”_ He muttered sounding exhausted as we walked back to the club.

A man dressed like Santa Claus had just walked in and he was carrying a sack of toys. I heard The Joker growling under his breath, and once Santa made eye contact with him, he threw his hands in the air.

 _“Merry Chris-“_ , his jolly yell was cut off when the Joker shot him twice in the chest with his new toy.

Santa dropped dead and The joker stood right next to him. The first bullet left a green stain, and the second one a purple one.

 _“Ho, ho, holy shit, Santa!”_ The Joker exclaimed before erupting into a maniacal laughter, _“Getting shot on Christmas? Talk about being a bad boy…”_

The people in the club we’re used to The Joker killing people in front of them, so accustomed to it, no one even stood up to leave. His laughter died down and he looked at me.

 _“I gotta say, I love this thing”_ , he said out of breath.

He stood before me and gripped my chin a little too tight.

_“Oh, you little minx. You… outsmarted me. Even Harley and the ugly sweaters she gets me every year”._

He caressed my bottom lip with his thumb and looked straight into my eyes.

_“I will keep you for a long time”._

I wondered if that was his way of saying _“thank you”_. It seemed like he was about to say something else, but the club doors opened and in walked Harley, so he let go of me.

 _“You killed Santa!? You know I was actually going to put that costume on myself this year!”_ She said sounding genuinely pissed. _“You could’ve killed me, Puddin’”._

 _“Oh… bummer”_ he exclaimed putting on a fake smile.

_“Ooo what is that?”_

Harley grabbed the gun but The Joker snatched it away in no time and tucked it in his pants.

 _“Now if you’ll excuse me”_ , he said glancing at me, _“I’m going_ _to blow up a Christmas tree”_. He said before walking out with Harley.

I smiled to myself. For mere seconds, he had enjoyed the holidays thanks to me.

Maybe I can convince him to let Harley have her own gun too, and give it to her as a present for valentine’s day… he hates it too.

 


End file.
